You should know that I'm still here, in fact it's kind of like I'm back and in the best way you can imagine which means living life the way it's meant to be lived. One thing you should know about your Jades is that it's important to NOT FUCK WITH ME because the mind fuck that comes back your way is brutal and I hate crybabies. Also, Dan will kill you on my word and I don't think you even want to get any hamper action all over your stupid face. So this weekend I had this dinner party for my mom and the fams is drunk on margaritas and playing Cranium and it's my turn to do a humdinger (not code for dirty things). I'm just mentioning this because I am Queen of the Humdingers (in every way you can think of) and believe me you will guess that song in 2 notes. Also, I wish my karaoke skills were up to this level. I think one difference is that I don't spit during humdingers (same thought as before) so everything is beautiful clear throat action. I was going pee earlier. That's not all! I pulled around the little strings that tie around the back of my shirt so they wouldn't dip into the tank and they were warm. I'm guessing it's because they were nestled in my asscrack. HAMPER!
Moving on.
about
...except that my dad noted my mom's contractions on Taco Bell stationary before she birthed me.
4 comments:
hampers and humdingers, cranium and crybabies...don't even try me.
I love you (down there) because you love ritas and humdingers. You love me ( in my "area") because I would kick your fat ass at karaoke and you knows it's trusies!
i'm pretty sure i just came
i only know about humdingers because ellen had vince vaughn on last week and she made him play that game with audience members.
i wish i could give vince a humdinger
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