it's like shitting - just let it go right on the couch

Ok so I had this dream the other night that I was dating Damien Rice. I don't know where or how we met but all of a sudden he was sweet on me and me him and we were this out of nowhere couple complete with me being included in all of his TV interviews. He was promoting his 9 album and I'd sit there next to him all cute, constantly looking back and forth between him and whoever was interviewing us (Larry King, once) and smiling and laughing and he'd put his hand on my leg and squeeze it when he was embarrassed . Sometimes I'd answer questions, but they were always about him like "What do you guys watch on TV?" and to that I replied "We watch Curb Your Enthusiasm but I'm pretty sure he only watches it for me and that he hates Larry David. The big story wasn't his new album though, it was the fact that Damien was dating a non Hollywood/music industry type like me. He kept calling me "a regular" and when asked how he felt about that he'd say that it was totally fucking awesome dating "a normal" like me except he didn't say 'totally fucking awesome'-instead he'd use some obscure Irish antidote that nobody understood, not even me. He'd say we do all the things "the normals" do like lick our fingers after we eat Doritos and hike Mt. Tam and fuck in the shower. Of course I would blush when he'd say the word 'fuck' but only because we did fuck in the shower. Maybe it's because he liked to immediately wash "the normal" pussay off of him, idunno. And none of that bothered me because I knew he was a rebound for me anyway and I knew that he'd soon break things off all dramatical-like so he could go off and date a younger blonde chic with no ass. Yeah, that was all fine with me because I had my eye on Harry Osborne and Harry is local and spending weekends in Ireland was often tiring. Plus Harry is more emotionally stable than Damien anyway so what the hell, right?

I love it when Richelle has the nerve to call me a whore and to keep my legs closed.