You know you have an addiction to karaoke when you beg your sister to bring her home karaoke system up from LA and when she does you end up passed out in your chair with the mic between your tits because you refuse to stop even at 3am. This is, of course, after having awesome battles such as The Battle of the Faggy Boy Band Jams or The Battle of the Jams You Wish You Could Sing Well or The Battle of the Songs You're Embarrassed You Know the Words To (Straight Up-Paula Abdul-clearly I won this one). So what if you're a couple of bottles of red deep and higher than Fatso's blood pressure, hu? Who fucking cares at that point because I'm not stopping and I'm certainly not about to let you win with a fucking Dido song. I think the ultimate winner of all time will be decided when we battle it out next weekend over Live Karaoke in front of people other than someone who gets his cigs swiped off his porch by a hobo going through obvious nicotine withdrawals.
I am running another marathon this weekend and let me tell you I am the dumbest mutherfucker out there. You'd think I learned from the last experience that I am not built for this bullshit but no, I apparently have something to prove. So today I ran with the running club of my place of employment (don't even get me started on how nerd herd this is, I'm already aware and I take shit for my membership daily so don't you even fucking start too) and I'm running hard and my iPod is not being so dickly for once and I'm like fuck yeah who's hardcore? I'M hardcore bitch! when my panties start wrangling in places that might not be appropriate in times of intense nerd competition. You guessed it, totally got me hot. So I was both confused and pissed off and trying to beat out someone wearing a belt with a waterbottle attached to it and shaking my head when I start thinking about my new scenario. Sonofabitch. I cannot find out that I have another issue because I'm serious when I say I'm full-no more. I know, this doesn't make sense to me either. I mean, who admits that shit?
THIS IS A DUET BITCH!
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4 comments:
why haven't you sang at the Office yet?
it's my turn to point out how gay you are.
Dan! *sigh*
Jades, I need an e-mail address for you. Not the work one. I have to send you important information about free porn.
this font size is so small i can't pay attention. because i'm drunk. hobos + cigarettes = i love you.
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