Awesome is accidentally dropping your last tampon into the toilet before you get to tampon fuck yourself.
Ladies, can I get a WHAT WHAT?
Fellas, can I get you to not puke on my shoes?
ktksbye.
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...except that my dad noted my mom's contractions on Taco Bell stationary before she birthed me.
5 comments:
that must have been tricky to install after you fished it out of the terlet.
twas
i'm sick of reading this stupid post. fack.
So, because of your extended silence, I'm assuming that, unless you dove into that toilet like the scene from Trainspotting when he dives into the filthiest toilet in all of Scotland (and drowned), then you must've found yourself a new dick to play with.
Either way, it's going to end badly. It always does.
Good luck and ride that bitch until it's blue, then throw it away like a shake and bake bag.
It's the tack that I'm taking these days. Seeing as how it seems that every woman on this island is (a)taken; (b)insane; (c) a drug addict - and not a clean one (I've pretty much fucked all off the halfway decent looking bitches in recovery on this island already, I need a bigger gene [or jean?] pool), someone who is still using (d) has 30 children or (e) is incapable of allowing someone to treat them like a human being, albeit one who's into really rough sex.
Therefore, I decided to take the moral high ground and do the only rationoal thing.
I'm just going to be a complete and total whore. I just bought the biggest box of condoms that CostCo sells.
I think it has 96 in there.
My goal is to empty that bitch by St. Patrick's Day. Brace for it Bridget, Grampa's comin' home.
Oh, and happy new year, you worthless, non-posting fuck. It's my year, the year of the rat, or the year of the trouser snake that will be a rat-ish bastard who will fuck anything that moves.
And is over 16. And has a pussy, or at least a reasonable fasimile thereof.
so as a woman.. do you look forward to the day you stop bleeding? like forever? do you think you'd buy tampons and shove them all up in there "for 'ol times sake?" you know.. for nostalgia. like an old lady sitting on a rocking chair drinking lemonade and sayin' "wow, i remember when i used to have to stick a tampon in my pussy to keep from staining my white jeans" remember your white jeans? cuz who wears white jeans now a days.. i'll tell you who.. my bartender! and i don't know when the bleedin' stops but I'm thinkin' that's why she's wearin' white jeans.. cuz she's done bleedin. but what do I know. I have a penis.. not much of one but its there.. kinda. and if it bled. well, let's just say that the first thing on my mind wouldn't be "OH NO! Not my favorite white jeans!!!"
hugz&kisses,
-carlos-
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