11.07.2007

freaking is not a crime

Can we please fucking talk about something else around here? I mean if you're going have your mind consumed with something then, for the love of balls, let it be about something good. Or minty. Seriously, you guys have a problem. WTF. I have to think of a new diet plan. Currently I walk around my house in a bikini so that every time I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror I stick my finger down my throat. I have tons of mirrors up in my house, maybe one on every wall. I have to because I'm gorgeous and I was told that's what the beautiful people do. Just kidding about the purging thing, btw, you're forgetting I'm also very cheap. Anyway, you'd be surprised to find out that I somehow became a total lightweight when it comes to booze and that all of a sudden one pint has me acting like I did on a half dozen dirties. I mostly blame the running and you should too. Please don't be disappointed. ps-ruffies still work on me. I should be leaving for Vegas tonight but fucking shocker-I'm not.

Here is where I was going to show you me as the Mad Hatter on Halloween but I can't because it's too fucking funny mostly because my nipple was showing.

5 comments:

Dirty Dan Sin said...

i dunno if i am losing weight - but my belt is hanging after i already puncheded a new hole in it. maybe you need a girlfriend. it's working for me.

also, about the picture ...freaking is not a crime - but teasing is.

-cjc- said...

you were going to vegas?

iphone.

oh and it's your fucking turn on scrabble.

Grampa said...

Like showing your nipple is something new.

Grampa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

i haven't had carbs all week so tonight after work i went for a pint of stella and guinness steak + mushroom crock with dirty mashed potatoes. Then I pooped in my pants a little on the subway.