Oyster perpetual is a concept

I think it's interesting and annoying that the fortune inside the cookie I had for breakfast said PEOPLE WHO EXPECT NOTHING WILL NEVER BE DISAPPOINTED. Yes, in all caps, screaming at me while I face the corner of the room and kick at the walls and stands with fists. Fuck you Panda Express. There was a time where I was backed into a situation then stuck there for a long time and had no choice but to accept things as they were because selfish was not an option. Growing some girlballs and making the decision to unstick took many years of thunderstorms inside my head so when the proverbial clouds cleared, well they cleared and I'm sure you get that I unstuck myself. Now don't get your BVD's all bunched in your crack, I wasn't taking a beat down Charlie Brown. My life wasn't all Amy Spears or Brittney Winehouse. I think that zits on your neck is so fucking weird. What I'm trying to say is one day you realize that you're winding your stupid head back around another possible maybe'ish situation and there is no reason for it because it's early and a youngling-not even a Padawan so really, why don't you use your brain this time and maybe check out all the little signs and clues pointing to the neon green EXIT sigh? Or sign. I don't like to use the backspace key because I have this freakish ergokeyboard thing and backspace is 3 miles way from my little pinky.

Story time. August last year, I went out with my two favorite lesbians. We got drunk at a tiki bar and it was there that we ran into the hot guy who fixes the copy machines at work. The lesbians decided we should leave before I got into some major copy guy trouble because drunk then and to this day I would fuck that copy guy until there is nothing left of our private parts. Besides, we weren't out trying to find me a man...we were out to celebrate freedom and justice! We were supposed to drink disgusting dirties (NICE ALLIT.!) at some fag bar when we were kind of pulled by some strange force into the bar right in front of us because we were already drunk and lazy, I guess. For some reason, whenever we go to this bar the punk rock kids love us and end up getting us tequila shot drunk and that night was pretty much typical. What wasn't typical was the hearsay that I tried to pick up on some white and nerdy while playing a game of drunk pool. He bought me a bar rose from the bar-rose-in-a-bucket lady. We stole him at the end of the night and took him with us to a taqueria where he shared his cheese enchiladas (that were so gross) with me. We drove him home but not before we threatened to chop him up and keep him in a suitcase the lesbians had in their back seat. We like that joke and use it often and maybe one day you'll be lucky in that very same way. We made out in the back seat next to that suitcase where I'm sure he kept one eye open because how fucking insane right? Then I walked him to his door because I'm a gentleman that way and then we kissed this fantastic hair-pulling, lip biting, heavy breathed kiss and I was like it is FUCKING ON, NERD! But I didn't come inside when he asked me to-totally fucking wanted to because you know how I feel about my hair and having it ripped out of my head. There were many reasons why I did not come in, reasons perhaps like a) the lesbians were waiting in the car-watching us hot-kiss on the porch, b) I was trying this crazy new "not a whore" thing, and c) I was on the rag. d-All of the above-but mostly the 'not a whore' reason. I mean, I've been with guys who don't mind a little blood fucking but testing that on the night you meet isn't always how I roll. That's more of a 3rd date activity. I'm sure you're smart enough to know that this paragraph has a direct tie to the one above it. I almost told the story about when I went to the Yuba River this summer and at one point when I was TOTALLY sober, I went over a waterfall and not one goddamn person tried to save me, but I went with this one instead. Don't hate me.

Text size seems to be an issue for me.