triste

Wow. Haven't been here in a while. It's been so long I didn't even remember my password. I wonder if anyone will even notice I stopped in.

That's ok, I want to say somethings about someone and those somethings are some of those things you don't usually talk about in public but rather you keep them in your own head because they those things/decisions that if you talk about out loud then you realize how insane they actually are. And you know it's insane but your mind has a funny way about it, taking something so crazy and actually convincing itself that it's an awesome idea. Weird. Maybe not so weird.

Maybe I won't talk about it at all.

There is this savage that started coming around back in ancient times, like BC. The best and the worst kind of savage that only brings out the premium in you. And no matter how hard you say you try to run from this savage, you know that you're really not trying to run. You're secretly sitting there out in the open, waiting for this savage to pounce on you. Years and years of this silly savage and mouse game go on and you can't/don't want to shake the savage but you do. No you don't. Yes, you do. If you knew what was best for you, you would. But you don't. Does it even matter when you don't speak the same language? It doesn't, really.

Now what? Now you're older and the savage is older. Now you think maybe you finally stopped pretending to run because running makes you tired and pretending to run is even worse on your thighs. Now it's final. Finality has begun to set in. But that savage would like one more run at it. For old times sake. For fun. For shits & giggles. For the fuck of it. Before finality really really sets in. Because you can't run to that state. Because you can't pretend to run from so far away. Nobody would be around to pretend not to see you pretending to run.

The one thing you know for certain is that it would be the run of your fucking life.