douchey

No, I am not on vacation...yet. I have been busy being a douchebag. Here is a list of douchey things I have done since we spoke last:
i wrote code for 3 weeks straight then birthed a brand new website and it was painful and gave me stretch marks and has a douchey face that only a mother could love. i finished 90 days of that douchey p9ox and it was painful and gave me stretch marks but now i have douchey guns with cannons and rocket launchers and scopes attached. i have stuck to my douchey personal goal of not drinking alcohol for 5 of the 6 proposed douchey months and it has been painful and has most likely given me stretch marks and come day 6months +1day when I do finally drink again it will be a douchey waste of 'all inclusive' because i'll be shitfaced after one drink. i have eaten some chocolate fondue that was so delightful that i swear it was actually shit from heavenly angels with beautiful breasts and shiney hair. ok, so that wasn't so douchey. maybe the analagy was. not sorry. but i will be on vacation soon.